Take that, Liberal Arts haters.
The Cat’s Table, Michael Ondaatje (via ideal-ideologies)
I can’t help but feel like I’m trying to fill this empty hole with events and seeing friends. I seem to be spending most of my time away from home, from one bus to another, organising one event or arranging to see someone. I haven’t really had time to myself to sit down and reflect on what I’m actually trying to achieve and why I am. I haven’t really thought through my actions or my problems.
Today I have spent a long time thinking how alone I really feel and how much I miss being part of my family. I miss the deepness connection with my family and how I seem to be replacing a lot of my time trying to improve areas of my life which I feel are grey and unexciting.
Only to feel exhausted and driven to replace more grey areas. I really do wonder why I try so hard to change everything all the time and create an exciting appeal about my life style. Realistically it’s unhealthy, lonely and troubled with my fears. Not exciting, arty or eventful how I try to portray it to myself.
I simply feel lost and reaching out for some sort of closure or comfort. I kind of linger onto relationships, feelings and love like it’s going to grow into something beautiful and honest.
But most of the time, I’m clutching on straws, hoping for the best.. what if I keep doing this.. will that be better? Will I feel better …it’s very self indulged.
I don’t think it gets any better you know.. I think it’s working progress.
I keep hoping I’ll eventually get over it and stop to look once around but I keep wondering and going… till I eventually hit rock bottom. Trying to make sense of life is exhausting.
Guillermo del Toro, Introduction to The Best American Nonrequired Reading (via larmoyante)
Can’t Buy Me Love: How Advertising Changes the Way We Think and Feel by Jean Kilbourne (via thechocolatebrigade)
People get drunk
They hook up with the wrong person
And pretend to be okay
People act tough
And get mad
People will do anything to distract their heart.
They will do anything to distract it from missing someone.
Distraction in its true form (via asimetricna-vagina)